Super Quick Post on How to Hard Boil an Egg
Updated: Mar 14
It took me 40 years to hard boil an egg. And boy was it worth the wait.
One day this summer, I was sitting with my husband and son, relishing the freedom of being trapped in our home, and I decided to just go for it. We were really hungry and it had been such a beautiful day. I could tell you all the amazing things about it, and I will - I worked on a really elaborate (but SUPER EASY - for me at least) felting craft with my 3 year old in between teaching online, doing laundry, and lifestyle influencing. I made dentist appointments just for fun. And we walked in the sun remembering all the things we used to complain about but which now seemed, well, still shitty. All of a sudden we realized the sun was an ephemeral tease. We walked home in Pittsburgh's rainy status quo, our masks smelling like hand sanitizer.
When we got home, I filled a pot with water - straight out of the faucet. I let the water really just fill up the pot. Make sure you get it just right when you do this. Next, I laughed loudly with zero anger, realizing it was ambitious to tie up the overflowing garbage bag while filling up the pot with water. Now there is water all over the floor. Be present in this moment and just soak it in - the moment, not the water on the floor. I walked over to the mop and pulled it out with the dexterity of the dentist I had called earlier and just cleaned it right up. Then I boiled that water. Question: Were the eggs about to be hard boiled immersed in the water as I brought the water to a boil? Answer: NOPE.
My husband was shocked and a little worried when he realized what I was trying to do. He remembered hearing somewhere that you were supposed to heat up the water with the eggs in the water, but neither of us googled it. We were just living in that moment like two young lovers.
At that point, it was time to go big or go home, so I placed the eggs into the already boiling water. I didn't burn my fingers too badly, and the eggs did NOT BREAK. I knew then what I know now - there is only one way to find out if a hard-boiled egg is done - - throw it on the ground!
While mentally preparing for my son's next elaborate, naturally sourced craft project I kept hearing the number 4 - - 4 minutes once the water is boiling again, 4 chances, 4 eggs, 4 roles I'm simultaneously playing here 104% stress-free.
5 minutes of women having it all celebration later, I filled the sidecar sink with really cold tap water. For our kitchen faucet, you make the water really cold by turning the faucet up. This is counterintuitive, because isn’t there a saying righty coldy lefty hottie? But again, I stuck with it. I moved the eggs from the hot water (no longer boiling) into a strainer. I had a suspicion that the really hot water might make the really cold water less cold, and I didn’t want any of the hot water to get into the really cold water.
If you're doing this as part of a Hard-Boil Along place your eggs 1 at a time into the cold water until they are seated comfortably at the bottom of whatever container you're using. ** Note, if you are not working with a fully updated kitchen and therefore don't have a built-in stainless steel egg transfer compartment, you may need to use a bowl for the cold water phase of this hard boiling. Any bowl can work, as long as it is big enough to hold both eggs and a lot of really cold water.
I then walked away, stage whispering expletives to myself. It was time for a meeting and I kind of assumed my husband was right. I should have started with cold water and boiled the eggs with the water.
Hours later, I went into the kitchen to eat a fistful of sesame sticks and remembered the morning’s adventure. I threw one of the eggs on the floor. When it didn't ooze everywhere, I thanked the universe for bringing me this protein-rich opportunity. It had that fresh off the Courtyard Marriot continental breakfast buffet smell to it, and I dove right in. Delish...